(Because Saying “I’m Happy With Whatever You Offer” Is Why Your Salary Still Buys Two Kotas and a Stumbo)
Your HR lady just dropped the line: “We’re prepared to offer you R18 500 per month.” In that moment, three things happen at once:
- Your ancestors roll in their graves so hard Eskom registers a power surge.
- Your future children automatically enrol at the local school with 47 kids per class.
- Somewhere in Sandton, another candidate with the exact same CV just got R29 000 + car allowance because he opened his mouth and used the scripts you’re about to steal.
This is no longer a blog post. This is your December 2025 glow-up. Grab a Castle Lite, lock your bedroom door so your mom doesn’t walk in, and practise these lines until you stop sounding like you’re asking for extra gravy.
The 7 Deadly Sins We All Commit (And How Your Uncle Taught You Every Single One)
- Saying “I’m fine with anything” – translation: “Please pay me like I’m still staying in my mama’s back room.”
- Giving a number first when they ask “What are your expectations?” – you just shot yourself in both feet and handed them the gun.
- Thinking “budget is fixed” actually means budget is fixed. (Spoiler: it’s as fixed as stage 6 load-shedding times.)
- Being scared you’ll lose the offer – my bru, they spent R47 000 recruiting you. They’re more scared of restarting than you are of eating pap for another year.
- Forgetting benefits are also money.
- Negotiating like you’re at the taxi rank (“R20k boss, sharp sharp”).
- Not practising out loud and then mumbling like you’re confessing to stealing meat from the pot.
The 4-Step Magic Formula That Works in 2025 (Even on Government Jobs)
- Gratitude + Excitement (butter them up)
- The Soft Anchor (throw a higher number without looking rude)
- The Awkward Silence (let them sweat)
- The Polite Close (seal the bag)
Real Scripts – Copy, Paste, Practise, Cash
Situation 1: Entry-level / First Job (They offered R12k–R20k)
HR: “We can offer you R18 500 to start.” You: “Wow, thank you so much – I’m genuinely excited about joining the team and contributing from day one. Before we finalise, may I ask – is there any flexibility on the base salary? Most offers I’ve seen recently for this exact role with my skills are sitting between R24 000 and R27 000. I’d love to make this work – what’s possible on your side?”
(Then shut up. Count to 20 in your head. Let the silence do the heavy lifting.)
80% of the time they come back with R22k–R25k on the spot.
Situation 2: Mid-level (They offered R25k–R35k)
HR: “Our offer is R32 000 cost-to-company.” You: “I appreciate the offer and I’m super keen – this role is literally what I’ve been building toward. Just to make sure we’re aligned, similar positions I’ve been approached for recently are coming in between R42 000 and R48 000, especially with the current market adjustments. I’d hate for salary to be the only thing standing in the way of me giving you 110%. What can we do to close that gap?”
(Again – silence. Let them go speak to their manager. They always do.)
Real result one guy got last month: R32k → R44k + R3 500 petrol + 2 extra leave days.
Situation 3: When They Ask the Devil Question on the Application Form
“What are your salary expectations?” Never write a number. Write this exact sentence:
“My expectations are competitive and flexible depending on the total package and growth opportunity. I’m currently seeing offers between R__ and R__ for similar roles and would love to find the right fit with your team.”
(Leave the blanks empty or put a wide range like R28k–R45k. Forces them to show their hand first.)
Situation 4: “Our budget is fixed, take it or leave it”
You: “I completely understand budgets are tight – I appreciate you being transparent. Just out of curiosity, when last was this salary band reviewed? Because the market has moved quite a bit in the last 12 months and I’d hate for you to lose good talent over an outdated band. Even if base is fixed, are there sign-on bonuses, guaranteed overtime, performance incentives, or extra leave we can look at? I’m very motivated to make this work.”
(They suddenly discover “discretionary” bonuses they forgot existed.)
Situation 5: The Counter-Offer Email Template (Copy-Paste This Exact Thing)
Subject: Thank you for the offer – let’s make it work!
Dear [HR Name],
Thank you so much for the offer to join [Company] as [Position] – I’m genuinely excited about the role and the team.
After reviewing the total package and current market rates for this level of responsibility, I was hoping we could get closer to R__ per month. This would align with offers I’ve received recently and allow me to hit the ground running without any distractions.
If base salary has constraints, I’m very open to discussing sign-on bonus, performance incentives, additional leave, or a 6-month review with guaranteed increase.
I’m keen to say yes and would love to find a win-win. What’s possible?
Warm regards, [Your Name] [Your Number]
(One guy sent this and got an extra R96 000 a year. Yes, ninety-six thousand.)
Situation 6: Government / Municipality / Parastatal Jobs
They’ll tell you “it’s DPSA level 8, no negotiation”. Lies.
You: “Thank you for the offer. I see the notch is at the bottom of the scale. Given my qualifications and the fact that I bring [X skill they desperately need], would there be room to start me on a higher notch or include the performance bonus from day one? Most departments I’ve spoken to are doing that now to attract talent.”
(They suddenly discover notches they swore didn’t exist.)
Real 2025 Success Stories (Names changed but screenshots exist)
- Sanele (Pretoria nurse): Offered R28k → asked for R36k → settled at R41k + double overtime rate
- Kyle (Durban logistics): R22k → R34k + R4 500 car allowance + phone
- Refilwe (Joburg data analyst): R35k → R48k + full remote + R20k sign-on
- Thabang (Cape Town call-centre TL): R19k → R27k + medical aid upgraded from hospital plan to “we cover everything including your future kids’ braces”
Benefits You Must Ask For When They “Can’t Move on Salary”
- Extra 5–10 leave days
- Guaranteed 13th cheque or performance bonus (even if policy says “discretionary”)
- Petrol allowance (R2 500–R5 000 is standard now)
- Phone + data allowance
- Early salary review after 6 months
- Overtime at double rate
- Work-from-home 2–3 days a week (saves you R3k petrol easy)
Phrases That Instantly Make Them Cut Your Offer
- “I’m currently on R15k so anything is fine”
- “What does CTC mean?”
- “As long as I can pay my rent I’m happy”
- “My previous salary was R22k” (unless you want R23k)
Final Pep Talk
The only difference between you eating steak at Spur in 2026 and two-minute noodles with tomato sauce is 30 seconds of courage on a phone call.
Practise these scripts out loud until your little sister tells you to shut up. Record yourself. Do it in front of the mirror wearing sunglasses if you have to.
Because right now, somewhere in Sandton, another candidate is buying his third pair of Air Force 1s with the money you were too scared to ask for.
Not on our watch. Go get your bag, legend. And when you cash that fatter salary, slide into JobTide’s DMs and tell us how much you made them cry. We love receipts.